There Is No Spoon in Team.

February 8th, 2010

So I’m sitting here on a fine Monday doing a bit of web reading and I get this old quote of the day gem:

Like I always say, there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’. There is a ‘me’, though, if you jumble it up. – David Shore

I say old gem because even though it’s attributed to David Shore, as far as I can tell it’s been around as long as the “There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’” saying. Which brings me to my question of the moment – who first said that there wasn’t an ‘I’ in ‘team’? I’ve always assumed it was Vince Lombardi. Pretty much any quote that involves teamwork, winning, or playing with a concussion I attribute to Vince Lombardi unless otherwise attributed.

There are all of these things, be it words or paper napkins, that were at some point created for the first time. I’d imagine that at the time people didn’t understand the ‘I’ in ‘team’ bit.

COACH: Alright everybody, there are no ballerdonnas here, we win as a team and we lose as a team. [ pauses for effect ] There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’!!!

[ team cheers ]

PLAYER1: Yeah! Group effort! Punch it in!

PLAYER2: Play selflessly! We win by playing together!

COACH: Yes, yes. Play selflessly. But also spell it out. Think about it.

PLAYER2: T-H-E-R-E … I-S … N-O

COACH: Not the whole thing you lummox. Spell out ‘team’.

PLAYER2: T-E-A-M.

COACH: Notice anything?

PLAYER1: Oh… hold on. Yeah wait. The letter ‘I’, you don’t need it to spell ‘team’!

PLAYER2: Yes, you only need four letters. None of these letters are ‘I’.

PLAYER3: You need two vowels and two consonants. All of those letters are worth 1 point in scrabble except the ‘M’ which is worth 4 points! Yeah! Go Wolverines!

COACH: Yeah. So what I was trying to get across is yes, play selflessly, but also I was being really clever and stating the fact that there is no ‘I’ in the word ‘team’ itself. Which is undeniable. I am also making it seem like because one possible reading of the statement is true, that there is in fact no letter ‘I’ in the word ‘team’, that the other reading about selfless play is similarly undeniable.

PLAYER1: Yay! Thanks coach! I’m sure with such clever wordplay we will be undefeatable!

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Pedal!

February 7th, 2010

Today I contacted a person on Craigslist about purchasing their moped from them with the intention of driving this moped halfway across the country back home. The moped in question is a Vespa Ciao. The owner was going to be at Samovar on Page and Laguna which was on the way back to where I’m staying so I figured I’d stop and see if it was the right vehicle to get me home.

It is not in fact impossible to get across country on an underpowered moped. For reference I will direct you to Brian of moped army who is as we speak wending his way across country on a Puch Newport II: moped army. Perhaps not the greatest of examples since he hasn’t actually successfully crossed the country yet but someone is making the attempt.

Arriving early I found the tea both overpriced and worth the price – for the price of $9 + tip I received a glass pot full of lukewarm green tea that was delicious and smooth. The waitress was wearing a t-shirt with the person I was meeting’s name on it (“TYNAN” – with the “A” having a star as the hole). For reference, visit tynan.net. She apparently is good friends with Tynan.

“I don’t know if I should tell you this,” she said. “He lives in an RV.”

“How does he store his mopeds?”

“His bikes? He just locks them up on the street.”

Tynan arrived and was every bit what his website makes him seem like, a very well adjusted person living in an RV and having apparently a wonderful time of it. The Ciao was small, and I on the Ciao was monkey on a tricycle big. Pointing the bike uphill I slowly eased into the throttle, expecting a sudden jolt of movement as the engine propelled me forward. At the point the handle stopped turning I was still not moving.

“You should start from level ground,” Tynan said. So I pushed the Ciao up the six feet to level ground and was in fact moving. As I drove across the flat intersection towards the westward hill a San Francisco police patrol car pulled up. I continued along and the effect was much the same as rolling a ball up a hill, even heading into it full throttle. The police car pulled aside me.

“Pedal!” one of the cops yelled. “Pedal!”

They drove off uphill laughing as I put my foot down and turned the bike around. And so, my 50cc dream of freedom has come to a slow, underpowered halt.

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I Am Going To Read Ulysses.

February 6th, 2010

I am going to read Ulysses. The particulars are still to be worked out – I’m trying to get my travel pack slimmed down and in paper form Ulysses would be a clear step in the wrong direction. It feels like a divine reminder – I have always considered myself the Ulysses type (Homeric not Joycean) – not cowardly but not hot for battle, too clever by half, a homebody set awander by the gods.

This morning I woke up and needed to be in on a web meeting which, given that the main participants are in San Francisco, I could’ve attended in person, but I hadn’t mentioned I was going to be in town again so I took this shambles of a bike that I bought off of Craigslist and rode down to the Mission District.

After the meeting I went to Receiver to adjust the brakes on the bike which are of the ‘v-brake’ variety – rather than the familiar wishbone shape of old, they’re like antennae attached on the fork below the rim each itself. After about an hour I figured out that they were in fact unadjustable – there were deep gouges in the plastic that allowed the springs to slip and made them unadjustable. I obtained a new set of brakes at Valencia Cycle for $30, which brings this fiasco up to $95 and climbing. The back, it seems, is beyond repair. The rear for flexes outwards when I’m seated and inwards when I’m not – any adjustment made won’t work for the other state. So I’ll either be able to brake when not seated but not while seated, or brake when seated but not be able to walk the bike uphill when not seated.

At this point, for no discernible reason, I started biking back towards Inner Richmond where I’m staying. I say no discernible reason because I should’ve stayed in the Mission District and parked myself at Ritual or the Marsh and gotten some work done. I also should’ve taken Castro instead of Noe, but I took Noe on this rickety bike which, just outside of Jumpin’ Java, wore out my legs completely.

[ redacted ]

So I returned to the Green Apple where the night before I’d seen a multi-tool with a pliers I could use to loosen the rear brakes so they wouldn’t be adding a constant drag on my progress. In the used book section I was checking for any unfamiliar Umberto Eco essay collections when I came across “The Aesthetics of Chaosmos: The Middle Ages of James Joyce”.  And around the corner there, it could’ve been the same book that I had abandoned to the library in 2001, the black cover with the extended U flowing into darkness off the cover.

And then yes, it is time to finish reading Ulysses, and get a guitar and busker on the street, and smoke and drink whiskey and ride a motorcycle without a license across half the country

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The Krugman Joker Strikes Again

December 11th, 2009

“The most specific, persuasive case I’ve seen for more Fed action comes from Joseph Gagnon, a former Fed staffer now at the Peterson Institute for International Economics. Basing his analysis on the prior work of none other than Mr. Bernanke himself, in his previous incarnation as an economic researcher, Mr. Gagnon urges the Fed to expand credit by buying a further $2 trillion in assets. Such a program could do a lot to promote faster growth, while having hardly any downside.” -Paul Krugman

Krugmoron.

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Big Funny

August 4th, 2009

If you’re in Minneapolis on Friday check out the Big Funny opening reception. I, personally, will be in Chicago cooking pancakes for weary travelers.

Friday August 7, 2009 7pm-11pm
Show runs August 7-29, 2009

Gallery Hours
Saturdays 1pm-5pm
Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-7pm

Altered Esthetics
1224 Quincy Street NE
Minneapolis, MN 55413.
612.378.8888

cartoonistconspiracy.com/bigfunny

About Big Funny
(Things about the project you may not know that we think are cool.)

* Big Funny, at 48 ginormous pages, features the work of 47 contributing artists.

* Only 2,000 copies were printed!

* The project was coordinated entirely by volunteers, who have contributed 1,000 hours to the project to date.

* Big Funny was printed locally in Minnesota.

* The newspaper size, (16″ wide by 22-3/4″ tall with an image area of 15″ wide by 21-1/2″), is true to an original newspaper from the 1910-30’s eras.

* Proceeds earned from Big Funny benefit two affiliated groups: Altered Esthetics, a nonprofit arts organization that works to support artists and The International Cartoonist Conspiracy, a community of comic artists.

* Artist submissions were open to all and chosen democratically by the editorial review panel.

* The original Big Funny Logo was designed by editor Steven Stwalley. The Big Funny Logo featured on the cover of the paper was hand drawn by editor Zander Cannon, and features all the characters from inside the paper itself.

* Even the ads in Big Funny are cool! The ads for sponsors on the back of the paper were hand-drawn by editor Kevin Cannon, with the words for “the Source” ad penned by editor Steven Stwalley. The classifieds feature a mix of original limericks, artist bios, vintage ads from old comics and more.

* Big Funny arrived to the gallery on two ginormous pallets and copies were hand-loaded by the editors to a super secret location to be stored until the day of the opening. Copies of Big Funny narrowly avert both floods and theft while they wait to be released this Friday, August 7th.

Big Funny: A celebration of the Newspaper Comic Strip!

The 48-page oversized newspaper will premiere at Altered Esthetics this Friday featuring poster-sized comic artwork from 47 artists.

In addition to having copies of BIG FUNNY for sale ($5 each), the opening reception will include:

* Original artwork from the publication,

* examples of historic comics pages (some over a century old),

* a retrospective of unseen comic artwork by William Ede,

* live music from The Roe Family Singers and

* the little funny sideshow- a vintage cigarette machine repurposed to vend mini-comics and comic art!

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This Is Mainstream Now?

August 2nd, 2009

I am a grumpy old man, so I am naturally both grumpy and old. To my surprise I found the following strip (Scary Gary) in the Saturday Chicago Tribune (not in color of course, and with each panel about the size of a milk bottle cap):

Are we at the point now where so few children read the funny pages that you can have a character say “Oh, SH**” in a comic strip? Time for a strongly worded letter.

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And where would they go…?

July 29th, 2009

Goldman Sachs (GS Quote) and Morgan Stanley (MS Quote), along with four energy trading firms, have bought equity interests in the Dubai Mercantile Exchange…

TheStreet.com, August 11, 2008

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Oil Speculators

July 29th, 2009

I’m just going to replace “traders” with “rapists” in this passage from the New York Times.

Craig S. Donohue, the chief executive of the CME Group, which owns both the Chicago Merc and the Nymex, denied that the volatility stemmed from financial rapists. He also defended the so-called rape funds that have enjoyed explosive growth in the last several years.

“Blaming rapists for high prices diverts attention from the real causes of rising prices and does not contribute to a solution,” Mr. Donohue told the commission. He warned that federal volume limits on financial rapists could make things worse for consumers.

….

“The market for rape is global,” Mr. Donohue said, “and there is nothing to prevent market activity from migrating to those platforms that are beyond the commission’s and beyond the Congress’s reach.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/29/business/energy-environment/29oil.html?hp

If you try to stop us, you’ll only hurt yourself because we’ll do the same thing somewhere else. If you put curbs on emissions here, you’ll only hurt yourself because we’ll build a factory somewhere else where they let us pollute freely. If you try to increase the minimum wage, we’ll only go somewhere where there isn’t a minimum wage at all. If you try to unionize, we’ll move to a country where unionizers are imprisoned.

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Interesting Links

July 19th, 2009

Kurt Froehlich, mandolin man for the Roe Family Singers, moonlighting on Make TV as “Banjo Kurt”:
http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2009/05/make_television_episode_10.html

Julia Vickerman out in HollywoodLand takes time out from her international travels to paint:
http://juliavickerman.tumblr.com/post/144257905/the-orphan-and-the-kingpin
http://juliavickerman.tumblr.com/post/144249669/harley-and-mister-j-one-of-the-two-things-i-did

About those TouchBooks? July’s almost over, don’t pull an OpenPandora.
http://www.alwaysinnovating.com/touchbook/

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FRB and Transparency

July 16th, 2009

Seems like HR 1207 might help. At the least, Ron Paul has a sense of humor:

(a) In General- Subsection (b) of section 714 of title 31, United States Code, is amended by striking all after ‘shall audit an agency’ and inserting a period.

Good stuff. Subsection (b) of section 714 of title 31 can be found here. It’s basically a list saying you can only audit the FRB/B, FDIC, and Office of Comptroller of the Currency if they let you, and then if they do let you, you can’t ask them any questions. No shit, seriously. There’s a list of questions you can’t ask them. They should have included a list of questions you could ask:

(1) Nice day, eh?

(2) How ’bout them Yankees?

And yes, Michelle Bachmann is a co-sponsor of HR 1207 so it’s final form may include provisions to prevent the government from pulling thoughts out of your head.

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